Nothing Changes.
I’m pretty sure that to a certain extent, everyone is a tad protective of their exes. It doesn’t really matter how long you were together, it just happens.
Tonight I found out that one of my exes has been dating a friend. Normally, I wouldn’t have any concern with this. In fact, I would be quite happy for both parties. But this, this was something different.
How should one react when they found out what I did? Well, me being the sad attempt at an alpha-male freaked out. Wouldn’t you freak out if you found out someone that you wanted to marry had been dating someone you admire?
Let me explain. Mark Mallman is one of, if not my favorite local musicians. I love his music. I always have since that ill-fated night I first heard it. It spoke to me. It still does. I’ve fought my way through many a tough time in my life with the music of Mark Mallman by my side. But now, NOW, that seems to all be over.
Every song has seemed to take on a new meaning. When I hear certain lines, all I can think of is my ex.
Now, you could, and probably will argue that this has more to do with my ex than with Mallman. Not True.
Personally, I think Mark is a super-sweet guy. I would do anything for him, and deep down, I believe he would probably do the same for me.
But, HER? WHY? Nicole is a good person in her own right, I’m almost sure of it. But the simple fact that she felt she could and SHOULD share this all with me just pisses me off.
It doesn’t matter how many years pass, sometimes there is just shit you should never know about. Unless they were to be together forever, I should have never known about this all. Given the recent events with Allie, I’m at a point in the first place where I didn’t need another blow. This was the blow I didn’t need.
I can now see myself just sitting inside my apartment for years. Hanging out with my cats and being paranoid about anytime I hear anyone at the door.
Thank you, “friends.” You’ve both managed to make my craziness even crazier.
